I guess we have to add a few items to the “what you can’t bring on an airplane list”.

I give the ACLU a week to come to her defense, citing that carting human skulls around is a basic freedom provided by the Constitution. You know, as long as the skull isn’t from a practicing Catholic.

******

If the Vice President shoots a man in the woods, does he make a sound?

Hopefully the victim had the presence of mind to drop a “Man, you’re such a Dick!” reference on his way into the ambulance.

******

In a moment of Olympic-ish clarity last night, I realized that as commercialized and overhyped as the Olympics have become, they still pale in comparison to pro sports. And I mean like albino Irish vampire pale.

Speedskater Chad Hedrick won gold in the 5000-meter event last night, the first American to medal at the Olympics. We had heard his hype about trying to win five golds on a number of occasions, but not until moments before his race did we learn that yesterday was the anniversary of his grandmother’s death. Even after that, it seemed mostly brushed aside, save for Melissa Stark’s post-win interview, where she danced her way into getting the anniversary answer out of Hedrick, then pouncing with three quick “capitalize on the emotion” questions right after.

Then that was it. No more grandmother comments. If this were the NFL, ESPN would spend a week breaking down Brett Favre’s thoughts and feelings about the hangnail his second cousin suffered in June 1998.

Continuing with the Olympics, the drunken liveblogging mission for the next opening ceremonies is now a must. The folks at EveryTwoYears gave it a shot, and while they covered each country rather thoroughly, it wasn’t funny. Not a big deal if you’re not trying to be funny, but there were times where you can tell an attempt is there and it’s… well, it’s not good.

So…2008 Summer Games… gimme a case of brew and something to work with!