Just when I was considering the idea of this website’s first officially endorsed Olympian, Georg Hackl of Germany (also known as “the sliding/flying/racing/long white sausage” — depending on which source you’re listening to — I’m partial to “sliding” with “flying” just a hair behind), I read this. After about the first 95% of the bio, I knew I had my sausage! He’s a beer drinker, a member of Parliament, seems to have a great sense of humor, and he’s named after one of the most versatile foods on the planet. Then I find out he’s sued people for calling him a sausage.

What a jackass.

(More points in the sausage’s favor, however, from WikiPedia. Apparently, Hackl is also a decorated wok racer, too.)

It was also decided last night that at the next Olympics, the “parade of nations” will be liveblogged, and drinking in preparation for said parade will start around noon.