Has anyone else noticed the varying degrees to which some suspects on TV dramas decide they need to call their lawyer? I’m sure there’s a logical explanation and/or it really doesn’t matter when you call your lawyer, but it just struck me as odd. That and I want to know, just in case I was planning something, you know, for 9pm on the night of January 17, while I’m at my weekly squash game on the other side of town…. yeah, that’s the ticket!

Anyway, I’ve picked up on two extremes, but I can’t figure out which one points to more guilt than the other, or which might be the better, uh, “strategy”:

SUSPECT: “So then I shot the guy in the face, cut his testicles off, used them in a game of dice in the alley behind the liquor store, came back and dug out his intestines to make jerky, took a couple pictures of my junk on his face, drew “I’m a big poopyhead” on his forehead in black permanent marker, and then tossed him in the lake. So what?”

COP: “And then you jaywalked across the street to your car?”

SUSPECT: “Uh, I think I need my lawyer.”

Then there’s the suspects that make the premature call…

COP: “Oh, is that chocolate cake I smell coming from your kitchen?”

SUSPECT: “Um, I’m going to need my lawyer, aren’t I?”

Seriously, what gives?