If I ever run for political office, there are a few things I want to mention, just for the record:

-the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd as Hank Aaron hit his 715th homerun in Atlanta, and the ball glancing off my fingertips and into the hands of the guy next to me.

-attending all those Green Bay Packers games, sitting in the front row of the end zone, finally convincing their receivers that they should jump into the stands after scoring, and market it as the “Lambeau Leap”.

-killing a 3,000 pound bear with a Swiss Army knife. (I’ll never forget the struggle of lugging that bear a thousand feet up the side of a mountain to my cabin retreat.)

-discovering that peanut butter and chocolate really are two great tastes that taste great together.

-finishing each of my 12 Ironman triathlons, even the one where I had my leg bitten off by a shark, and had to surgically reattach it myself before I could finish the running part.

There are more, definitely, but this should be a good foundation for any future campaign to build off of.

Seriously, this story just confirms my notion that if John Kerry wanted to be President, all he had to do is say “I’m John Kerry, and I’m not George W. Bush”. And he wins, hands down. Hell, feet down, too. But he has taken to exaggerating and to some extent lying at every turn just to make himself seem like a bigger man. Hell, he was this close to turning around my very conservative (and very inconsistent) voting record. Now I just have to decide if I’m going to leave that space blank, or write in “Homer Simpson”.