Or was that “duty”? In John Kerry’s case, I’m beginning to be convinced that either one fits. I just happened upon his entrance to the DNC last night, stuck around for a few moments to see what he’d come up with, and after making two, maybe three passes through the hug line with his “former Vietnam mates” (I wonder what kind of sweet deal THOSE guys are getting out of all this parading), he breaks out the “reporting for duty” line, capped with a salute. I’ll give the man credit, he’s found another creative way to remind us that he was in Vietnam. Incidentally, according to Wizbang, he only alluded to ‘Nam 14 times. I definitely had the over on that one.

After remembering that even Baseball Tonight would be more interesting than watching whatever could spew from JK’s mouth next, I made it back about a half hour later, apparently missing the Olympic relay trials part of the convention. I think if Kerry is elected, his first executive order needs to be getting himself some new sweat glands. I wasn’t around in 1960, but now I know how Nixon must have looked while debating Kennedy. Of course, Kennedy had Marilyn Monroe in his green room that night, John Kerry just has that man-wife of his waiting in the wings.

To cap the night off in pure Democratic symbolic style, the Kerrys and the Edwardseses met up with James Taylor and his wife/mistress/escort for a concert with fireworks. There was alot of wifey hand-holding, embracing, swaying, singing along with “Fire and Rain”, and finally, the man-touching. I don’t know what a new administration would bring, but if it involves this much guy-on-guy groping, I think I’ll move to Canada. Or Mexico. Or the Sudan.

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Though I can’t imagine it holding a candle (or a disposable Bic, at least) to Half Baked, this new Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle deal seems to show alot more promise than I originally figured. And hell, even if the whole movie sucks Sliders (those would be the muffin-sized, onion-laced, hole-punched squares of grease extract that have made White Castle famous, for those of you outside the region), one line could be worth every penny of your $8.50 ticket.

Neil Patrick Harris (TV’s “Doogie Howser, MD”, of course) breaks out the line, “Forget White Castle, let’s go get some strippers.” Ah, how Vinnie (real life’s “Max Casella”, of course) would be proud of young Doog right about now. Though I’m really depressed that James B. Sikking and Lucy Boryer (sp?) are the only other cast members I remember right now. Oh yeah! Lisa Dean Ryan! Mmmm….Wanda Plenn….

Give Tom or my brother 15 minutes and they’ll get it. No IMDB-ing, either! Bonus points if you reel off the names of the black guy that held Vinnie and Doogie hostage and ended up getting a gig as an orderly, or the fat white kid that worked as an orderly later on, and I believe also co-starred in “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”.

Raise your hand if you need serious television-related help. I certainly do.

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Texas no longer holds first place in the AL West. There is no reason to chase a starter in the 3rd inning, and not score again until the 9th.

I guess the Rangers just didn’t “REPORT FOR DUTY!!!!” last night.