Using the whole fist, doc?

A few points before I continue:

1) This is completely a semi-drunk, sour grapes post.
2) New Year’s resolutions post be damned, this goes first.
3) That was not the Michigan team that played the first 12 weeks of the season.
4) The rest will be contained after the fold, which means I’m not legally responsible for anything I say after this point.

5) I hope Dwayne Jarrett kisses the front end of a moving bus tonight.
6) I hope Pete Carroll’s celebratory gerbil gets stuck.
7) I hope Brent Musberger suffers horrible facial burns trying to flame Carroll’s gerbil out.
8) I hope Bob Davie and Kirk Herbstreit suffocate during the rusty trombone to any number of USC players and/or coaches, past or present.
9) I’m really pissed at the Michigan no-show because an overrated Wisconsin team and an average-at-best Penn State team stuck a couple in the collective SEC tailpipe.
10) Any work I thought I could get done after a trip to BW3 to watch the game will be pure luck.

There’s something to be said on bitching about officiating when your offense is moving at a snail’s pace. That said, I hope the crew that worked the Rose Bowl enjoyed the trip to Pasadena and the condo on Maui they get for working this year’s USC Invitational. Makes what Vince Young did there last year so much more impressive. From the blatant to the ticky-tack, this one was ridiculous. At least they got ’em on that illegal participation call on the last UM extra point.

There should be a rule on instant replays that makes the official explain WHY he confirmed/overruled a call. Some officials are very good at this, others give the “After review, the play stands” line and move along. Tell me what you saw that made you think the call was good or not. And make the officials be the ones to see the play. I understand that outfitting every stadium with this technology may be difficult, and college football isn’t exactly a money maker *cough…hack…sputter* Yeah, I couldn’t do that with a straight face…. The NCAA makes a shitload of money on each and every game. Find something in the budget to throw a monitor and some coaxial cable on the sideline of EVERY SINGLE COLLEGE FOOTBALL STADIUM that lets the referee, the man that’s making the paycheck to do the job, see the replays. Don’t let some faceless old retired hack in a dark booth in some corner of the press box make the call. If Dwayne “I like teenage boys” Jarrett makes a catch, but yet somehow the ball is two yards away when he hits the ground, the referee damn well better tell me “The receiver made the catch, his knee hit the ground, then the ball came out. Don’t have some half-dead insurance salesman in a striped shirt get away with “the play stands”. Also, there should be a signal that stops the clock that’s separate from the whistle to stop play. Because if they *do* rule that Jarrett made that catch, the ball was clearly coming out before he hit the ground, and it’s Willis Barringer’s ball.

Next screw job… and I wish I would have TiVo’d this, because it was pretty much the ballgame… 4th and short, USC runs a QB draw/sneak, Michigan appears to stop it, both by sight and by the officials mark. The side judge (linesman, maybe) comes in, marks his spot, then gets knocked at least a foot or two upfield. USC gets the first down by less than half a football. THAT should be reviewable. Also, can the yellow line on such short, critical plays. Until you’ve got someone planting a transmitter at the EXACT point where the first down marker is, you’re just messing with us. According to the line, USC was a half yard short on that play. Chains come in and they got it. Not instrumental in the actual sub-par officiating of the game, but it was certainly an annoyance.

Finally (or at least all I feel like typing)… screw you for the personal foul on the second Jarrett touchdown. If you want to throw a flag on a guy diving at someone as they cross the goal line, cool. But at least puss out on us and offset it with the taunting call that should have obviously been thrown five yards earlier. The NCAA makes a big deal about wanting to take taunting out of the game, yet they allow a guy to point directly at a defender as he goes in, then get up and talk shit after he scores. What a crock of shit.

Michigan really didn’t deserve to win with the way they played (or didn’t play), and much like pointing to the Crable personal foul late against Ohio State as why they lost that game, there’s a much bigger picture that’s within their control that they didn’t handle… but to have so many key calls completely glad-handed to the Trojans, it was a lot to overcome. And for that, I call bullshit.

One thought on “Using the whole fist, doc?”

  1. That wasn’t the work of officiating, poor preparation or anything else of the sort. It was divine intervention.

    What better tribute could there be to Bo Schembechler than to have a Michigan team spend New Year’s Day in Pasadena, crapping down its leg against an inferior Southern Cal team?

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