Alot seems to have been written lately about ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons (“The Sports [expletive]”, to his closest friends), but I wonder, on this cold October night, how it feels to have a broomstick shoved up his ass? If I had the time or effort, I’d help spruce up his page at ESPN.com a little by adding a countdown clock to October 2090. Only 85 years and a couple weeks to go!

As a casual observer that only happened to casually observe the last two outs of Game 3 in that series tonight, I still can’t decide if I was pleased that ESPN finally gave a half-ounce of coverage to the team that actually won, or if I was pissed that they didn’t spend a full hour of the postgame show dedicated to shots of pouty, mopey Red Sox “fans” staring aimlessly in the stands.

Maybe I’m cruel, or maybe I just felt extra animosity after reading his NFL picks for this week, and his reasoning that the Browns may be fiesty this year because “Romeo Crennel might be a good coach after hanging around Bill Belichick for so long”. Or maybe, just maybe, Romeo taking his defense away has led to that sparkling 2-2 record the Pats are showing off? (Not to mention former O.C. Charlie Weis is now busy hunting down Tiny Tims across the Midwest.)

Mmmmm…Charlie like donut.

Just a(nother) friendly reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around you, or Boston, Billy.

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I wish I had copied the verbatim on this one, but after sharing Kyle Orton’s vacation pictures with Dan, something semi-close to the following ensued:

Him: That’s very Eustachy-like. Eustachian?
Me: Sounds right.
Him: I can’t believe you didn’t pick up on a perfectly good reference to the female reproductive system! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustachian_Tube
Me: No offense, but if you click that link, I think I can explain why your wife has been having those earaches.

Funny. On multiple levels. I mean, if the “sounds right” line wasn’t enough, I got a second hack at it! One joke, two home runs. (Dude, bro was ON! Didn’t trip! But the folks was freakin’, man… etc., QuickTime style)

Anyway, let’s just hope that while everyone else in the Browns-Bears game is playing quarters, Orton is still playing that fifth.

Kyle Orton: Quarterback, author, drunk
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Big ups on the Orton pics to the newest member of the links section, DeadSpin. Even despite their affiliation with the self-serving, arrogant, make-me-want-to-beat-puppies-when-I-read-them, holier than thou outfit Gawker, they’re some damn funny stuff.