Wow.

I’ve made no bones about my intense dislike of ESPN’s Stuart Scott. Apparently, and in one of the funniest second halves of any post ever, Brian of MGoBlog agrees with me. You don’t need to click the links, but hover over them for a second and see where they go. Out-freaking-standing.

So, in a rush of ESPN-related hatred, I decided to see who was more despised in the world, Stu Scott or Bill Simmons. Stu wins hands down and completely unscientifically. (Run a Google search on “Bill Simmons sucks” and “Stuart Scott sucks”, and Ol’ Eyelid wins almost 3-to-1.) But the real gem of my “research” was a fully notated copy of Scott’s commencement speech to the UNC Class of 2001.

An excerpt:
Especially in relationships. Your words have power. Remember this, and this is important. When you get a girlfriend and/or a fiancé and/or a wife. Know this: We communicate differently. And guys, I know you’re going to hate it because you’re going to think, “I don’t get her,” “She doesn’t make sense,” and you’re gonna try and talk to her like you talk to your boys. And when she doesn’t understand you, you’re gonna complain. You are in a relationship with a woman. You’re not in a relationship with a man who looks like a woman.

Unless you’re Eddie Murphy, but I digress.

Thing is, as with most of his “journalism”, if Stu would cut out about half the act, he might actually be damn good at what he does (be it broadcasting or commencement speaking). The part of the speech after the notes stop is drifty at times, but pretty decent. Unfortunately for Stu, he looks like a jackass for the first two-thirds that came out of his trap. Yo.