Not that I’m a big NBA fan, and I’m only mildly interested in the Pacers since they’re my new “hometown team” (and Jermaine O’Neal has yet to turn over control of his contracts and endorsements to one of his homies), but I have new reason to not worry about their playoff game tonight against the Pistons.

According to the guy at the Wendy’s drive-thru, the Pacers will come back and win tonight, because “you know how they do.”

“You know how they do.” Insightful words from an insightful man in a little booth. In fact, I think it (and variations thereof) is my new favorite phrase.

“Tony, can you get that story edited for the 5 pm news?”
“Of course I can. You know how I do.”

The possibilities are endless.

Not only will it work for me, but I think it would work great as the last line of an A&E documentary. (Yes Kurt, I’m recycling this one.) The man in the drive-thru goes on and on about a murder or robbery or something, then breaks out a “you know how they do.” Then Bill Curtis comes on in a courtroom, looking all introspective, turns his head to the camera and says “you know how they do….”

It will now be my goal to work that phrase into a conversation sometime this afternoon.

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I like to think that every good obscure TV show (that hasn’t been on regular air in more than 10-15 years) has an episode or a scene where when you see it randomly pop up in syndication some night, you actually think to yourself “I wonder if this is the one where….?” While I have a few of these in mind, its most often just something that comes to mind as the opening credits are running, since when you try to think it out, you come up with way too many “memorable scenes” and it kind of kills the effect.

For example, off the top of my head, if “Mr. Belvedere” were to come on, I’d think of the episode where Wesley sings “HMS Pinafore”. “Happy Days” would be the one where Fonz tries to go Evel Knievel, and instead goes Kellen Winslow II. And so on…

The other night, in a fit of insomnia (right after I made the horribly long Kentucky Derby post at 4:15am or whatever it was), where my body was a walking, wheezing NyQuil commercial, some cable network breaks out with a “Bosom Buddies” episode (you know, when Tom Hanks was funny and goofy, and not labeled a “cinematic genius” everytime he blew his nose) at 5:30am. My first thought was “I wonder if this will be the one where they play football in the office, yelling out play by play of old Browns players.”

Sure freaking enough, the very first scene has them playing football in the office, followed by “Sipe drops back, he avoids the rush, throws to Newsome… TOUCHDOWN BROWNS!!!!” Not only was it cool to feel like my mind controlled the TV, but also to remember the time when the Browns could actually score touchdowns.

Hmmm… maybe I’ll work on this mind-control TV thing, though. I mean, TiVo’s great and all, but it still only shows what the networks want me to see. It might take some work, but on demand video from my head direct to the TV screen could be a wonderfully dangerous idea. But is the world ready for 24 hours of “Mr. Belvedere” reruns, the handful of Cousin Geri epidsodes from “Facts of Life”, a couple doses of “Herman’s Head” and a dozen or so “SledgeHammer” episodes a day?

Probably not, but then again, you know how I do.