Courtesy of American Blogger (and some small town, I’m assuming Southern U.S. newspaper), we bring you the most disturbing story of the year winner, hands down, and even with 4 months left in the year. Read it, think about it, then see if you can eat bacon again. (Of course you’ll be able to eat bacon again. After all, its bacon, and its delicious!)

The Browns beat the Bears tonight to finish the preseason 3-1 (and on a 3 game win streak, to boot!) Of course, since the preseason means nothing, I wonder what the Vegas odds are on the Browns matching that win total in the regular season. Among the variables at play are… if our resident $40 million soldier at tight end can use his hands as well as his mouth, if our new QB can use HIS hands as well as his mouth (Hey! Who let Terrell Owens type on my blog?!?!), if William Green can go a full season without getting baked and giving his girlfriend the keys to the knife drawer, if the NFL institutes a rule that gives 10 points for every successful replay challenge (its about the only thing Bootch has been good at), and if they finally pulled the play out of the books that calls for a 6 yard curl on 3rd and 8. Take care of that, and the Brownies might even push the 6 win mark this year! (Which, in true AFC NorthCentral fashion, should leave them a game or two out of first in the division.)

Quick predictions for tomorrow, BG holds Oklahoma close at half, 14-10, maybe, but loses 42-17 in Norman. (Though, if everything clicks, and to use the “super positive thinking alumni” powers, how about 31-28 BG’s a winner? First key to that, of course, would be to hit Jason White so hard it knocks his teeth straight.) In the Big House, Miami(OH) brings a tough team to Ann Arbor, but still goes down 38-21 to the Maize and Blue.

Finally tonight, as I’m registering to vote in Indiana, I notice on the mail-in form, at the bottom, a line that says “Please sign full name (or put mark)” and all I can think of is, in my best “Blazing Saddles” voice, “Lawdy Lord, we’s gonna vote today!”

That or “I made an ‘H’. It looks like an X!”