With a couple short hours until I bail for the weekend wedding circuit, I *almost* forgot to publish my NFL picks for the “2004 Kick Angry Pete’s Ass-A-Thon”. So here goes:
Houston at KANSAS CITY – Despite holding out any information on Priest Holmes injury status, and pissing off millions of fantasy football players who bench him during his 121 yard, 3 TD performance, the Chiefs finally break into the win column.
PHILADELPHIA at Detroit – Even playing this one in Detroit, McNabb-to-Owens will remind the Lions that they’re still the Lions. (And maybe T.O. will stay in bounds this time.)
BALTIMORE at Cincinnati – In a perfect world, the words “stadium implosion” would appear in Monday morning’s game recap.
Arizona at ATLANTA – Going into Atlanta is murderous. Just ask Ray Lewis.
Jacksonville at TENNESSEE – Has Fred Taylor given up yet? (Titans score the most points of any team this week with a 38 point effort.)
New Orleans at ST. LOUIS – I really like N.O. in this one, but its hard to pick against the Rams in the Lou.
CLEVELAND at NY Giants – Since the jinx was disproven last week, the Browns will come out with more fire than a TLC appearance at Andre Rison’s house. The losing starts next week.
Chicago at MINNESOTA – Expect the Bears to pull two upsets in a row, much less a decade? I don’t think so. Besides, with Mike Brown out, who’s going to spark their defense? Hell, who’s even ON their defense? (Aside, of course, from Chunky Soup poster boy Brian Urlacher.)
PITTSBURGH at Miami – Pittsburgh doesn’t do much for me, except make me want to vomit. But Miami is just that bad.
San Diego at DENVER – High scoring game of the week, but Broncos still pull it out by 17.
San Francisco at SEATTLE – Please, please, please let Shaun Alexander be healthy and score 4 touchdowns. Please?
Green Bay at INDIANAPOLIS – The Pack tries to shake memories of sucky-ness last week against the Bears, while Indy is still pissy about blowing that game in New England. The Colts pissyness beats the Packers’ pissyness by 10.
Tampa Bay at OAKLAND – Note to Jon Gruden: Stay away from the folding chairs in the bullpen.
Dallas at WASHINGTON – The Vinny Train starts to come untracked. Clinton Portis is no William Green, which is a good thing for the ‘Skins.
And in bonus action, tonight under the lights in DeKalb, IL… Bowling Green 37, NIU 24. (And why is it that every time I picture the field at N. Illinois, I get images of a football field cut out of the corn, like the ball diamond in field of dreams? I don’t know where they expect to put all the fans on those rickety homemade bleachers, but it should be a good ball game and a happy bus ride home for the brown and orange.)