I wonder if they make knitting yarn in “County Blue”? Either way, I hope Martha Stewart gets a nice, “friendly” cellmate.

A week ago, I was ready to curse Tim Couch’s name if he didn’t restructure his contract and take a pay cut to stick in Cleveland. Now, looking at what the Browns offered him, he’d need to be checked for brain cell activity if he took it. Of course, maybe its not such a bad plan, since he was grossly overpaid to be an injured (and part time backup) QB for most of his first 4 years. In fact, if Carmen Policy is reading this, here’s my idea:

Give Couch a base salary of say, $500,000.
Add $500,000 every game in which he throws for more yards than his weight. (That would have been ONCE last year.)
Add $10,000 for every completion. (120 last year)
Add $25,000 for every completion on 3rd and more than 5.
Take away $25,000 for every pass that is more than 5 feet on either side of the receiver’s chest. (Tim could stand to lose substantial cash on this one.)
Give him a million dollars for every come from behind win in the fourth quarter.
Give him and the entire defense $10 million if they stay within 4 scores of the Ravens in either game this year.

See? It’s simple.

Speaking of the Ravens, add this one as “people’s exhibit 2,386” about what’s wrong with pro sports. One of the elite receivers in pro football, and he gets swapped for a second round draft pick!?!? Unbelievable. Somehow the Ravens will come up with the cash to pay him what he wants (in addition to Jamal Lewis’ bail, of course), and will dominate the AFC North (if not the entire AFC) next fall. Its bad enough the rest of the division is mediocre at best, but now a lack of control on NFL trades is turning it into a runaway. Then again, there IS still a reason they play the games… and that’s so I can drink beers and watch football on a REALLY big TV.

I’ve half-heartedly started the promised revamped inventory of links on my blogroll. Welcome to the new entries, and sorry “Chuck Sez It All”, you’re out the door. Even though I don’t get half of what he says, BuffaloWingsandVodka is damn funny stuff!

My brain is either on empty (which sucks, because it currently costs $1.75 a gallon to fill it up), or my work day is over and I need to get a few rounds of Golden Tee in then bail. We’ll stick with the former, though I hope I can straighten out that putting problem!