After letting Pete’s “we’re mourning the boat” voice mail delete itself without proper recording for history’s sake, I couldn’t let this one go, courtesy blog-abandoning Tom:
(parental supervision required after the jump…)
10:35pm (text message): I am at a live band karaoke night and they have Skee Lo’s I wish I was a baller on the list. How soon can you get to Columbus?
(I send a text message back, forget what it said.)
11:15pm (voice mail): “(five seconds of loud music) Tony G… Tom… just wanted to let you know that it’s fucking inexcusable that you’re not here right now… forget the Skee-Lo for a moment, there’s a girl upstairs right now, or, on stage right now singing the Humpty Dance if that is not reason enough for you to call in sick next Wednesday and get your fucking ass to Columbus, I don’t know what is. I’ll talk to ya later. See ya. Bye.”
11:20pm (unprovoked text message): Humpty Dance being sung right now. You MUST be here next week!!!!
…so yeah, anyone wanna work for me next Wednesday?
Blog-abandoning is a bit strong. I just went out for a pack of cigarettes a month ago and haven’t come back yet. “Abandon” has some ugly implications.
I’m not sure if this fact will make the series of texts/voicemails better or worse, but I was stone-cold sober for all of them.
And your first text response read “God I could use a private jet right now.”
The second text response read “Convince them to play until 4 and I’m there.”
Thanks for filling in the blanks. And incidentally, you actually LOSE points for being sober, I think.