I think I just got done watching more consecutive “not-my-team” baseball than I have in the past five years. And I think it was worth it just for the history witnessed.

Not the tie for the longest World Series game by innings, or the longest game by time records, but rather a game in which the losing pitcher was the ugliest man in baseball history.

This thing on my face will strike you out!

Seriously, watching this game made me fear for my children’s safety. And I don’t even have children.