{"id":488,"date":"2005-10-08T01:08:08","date_gmt":"2005-10-08T06:08:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/?p=488"},"modified":"2005-10-08T01:11:47","modified_gmt":"2005-10-08T06:11:47","slug":"paging-bill-simmons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/?p=488","title":{"rendered":"Paging Bill Simmons…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Alot seems to have been written lately about ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons (“The Sports [expletive]”, to his closest friends), but I wonder, on this cold October night, how it feels to have a broomstick shoved up his ass<\/a>? If I had the time or effort, I’d help spruce up his page at ESPN.com a little by adding a countdown clock to October 2090. Only 85 years and a couple weeks to go!<\/p>\n

As a casual observer that only happened to casually observe the last two outs of Game 3 in that series tonight, I still can’t decide if I was pleased that ESPN finally gave a half-ounce of coverage to the team that actually won, or if I was pissed that they didn’t spend a full hour of the postgame show dedicated to shots of pouty, mopey Red Sox “fans” staring aimlessly in the stands. <\/p>\n

Maybe I’m cruel, or maybe I just felt extra animosity after reading his NFL picks for this week, and his reasoning that the Browns may be fiesty this year because “Romeo Crennel might be a good coach after hanging around Bill Belichick for so long”. Or maybe, just maybe, Romeo taking his defense away has led to that sparkling 2-2 record the Pats are showing off? (Not to mention former O.C. Charlie Weis is now busy hunting down Tiny Tims across the Midwest.) <\/p>\n

\"Simpsons<\/a>
\nMmmmm…Charlie like donut.<\/em><\/p>\n

Just a(nother) friendly reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around you, or Boston, Billy.
\n
\n*****
\nI wish I had copied the verbatim on this one, but after sharing Kyle Orton’s vacation pictures<\/a> with Dan<\/a>, something semi-close to the following ensued:<\/p>\n

Him: That’s very Eustachy-like<\/a>. Eustachian?
\nMe: Sounds right.
\nHim: I can’t believe you didn’t pick up on a perfectly good reference to the female reproductive system! http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Eustachian_Tube<\/a>
\nMe: No offense, but if you click that link, I think I can explain why your wife has been having those earaches.<\/p>\n

Funny. On multiple levels. I mean, if the “sounds right” line wasn’t enough, I got a second hack at it! One joke, two home runs. (Dude, bro was ON! Didn’t trip! But the folks was freakin’, man… etc., QuickTime style<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Anyway, let’s just hope that while everyone else in the Browns-Bears game is playing quarters, Orton is still playing that fifth.<\/p>\n

\"Kyle
\nKyle Orton: Quarterback, author, drunk<\/a><\/em>
\n*****
\nBig ups on the Orton pics to the newest member of the links section, DeadSpin<\/a>. Even despite their affiliation with the self-serving, arrogant, make-me-want-to-beat-puppies-when-I-read-them, holier than thou outfit Gawker, they’re some damn funny stuff. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alot seems to have been written lately about ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons (“The Sports [expletive]”, to his closest friends), but I wonder, on this cold October night, how it feels to have a broomstick shoved up his ass? If I had the time or effort, I’d help spruce up his page at ESPN.com a little by … Continue reading Paging Bill Simmons…<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=488"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/haveyoumettony.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}