Category Archives: Daily Grind

Three things I hate about you

In my continuing quest to find things that irritate the hell out of me, I’ve got a couple more (surprised?):

1) I’ve noticed an increasing trend to refer to basketball players as being “long”. Not tall, not big, “long”. I understand where they’re coming from, but is it necessary? When I hear them say that a guy is “long”, I don’t think its something that needs to be discussed on Saturday afternoon basic cable.

2) I’ve also come across a number of commentators and fans alike referring to wide receivers as “the X receiver” or “the Z receiver”. To me, this is again just throwing terms out to show that you think you know what you’re talking about. It’s annoying. I’m still pissed that there are no more guards or forwards in the NBA, just ones and twos or threes and fours. If you’re really good, maybe you can “play the point”, but you’re probably more of a “one that can play the two”. Makes my skin crawl.

3) A little more seriously, I’m finding myself more and more apt to beat the living crap out of anyone with one of those yellow “Live Strong” bracelets on. I hate to think like that, because cancer is a scary disease, and there are probably alot of people that really do care about the fight against cancer, more than people who think “Dude, those are really cool, and like, by wearing them, I’m finding a cure for cancer or some shit like that.”, and with my luck, the first person I’d confront would be a survivor, but do you really think all these people suddenly care about the fight against cancer enough to wear a bright yellow wristband? Call me skeptical, but I doubt it. And now that there are wristbands for any other crusade known to man, including supporting your favorite sports team, people are going to start having to wear short sleeves just to be able to show all their favorite causes. And junior high girls are going to start performing sex acts because some boy came up and snapped her “I hate cirrhosis” bracelet. (For the record, as I drink another beer, I believe that a beejer to fight liver disease is a brilliant idea, just not for pre-teens.)

And I must mention, that both the funniest, yet most disturbing illustration of this (back to the “Live Strong” bracelets, forget the young girls, dammit!) was shared by Pete a couple months ago.

Continue reading Three things I hate about you

idle notes

Because paragraph form is for sissies:

-I finally got to watch a Browns game from the comfort of my own home this week. More fortunately than I thought, this was one of three games I got to catch all year. This team is bad. I didn’t even get to see former BG Falcon Josh Harris get into the game, though that was probably for the best. I find it easier to stream obscenities at a quarterback I don’t share an alma mater with, and I don’t think Otto Graham himself would stand a chance behind that line.

-Thank you Dennis Northcutt for the 39 yard catch and the nice punt return, but that does not earn you forgiveness for dropping all those passes that hit your hands, chest or face.

-You either, Antonio Bryant. Although it was cold as hell and I’ve never tried to catch an NFL pass in any weather, I’ve also never tried to cash a week’s paycheck in the six-figure range, either.

-For a group of college students that go to school in Southern California, there sure are alot of pasty white guys on UCLA’s basketball team. I mean, “white as my ass in the winter” type pasty. And whoever told that #3 that it would be a good idea to shave his head, I hope he kicked someone’s ass for that.

-Michigan would have done much better in that game if they would have taken shots that resembled, well, shots. What purpose does it serve to work the shot clock for a good shot, then throw up a running off balance half-hook through three defenders?

-And why do I insist on following teams that will do nothing but frustrate the hell out of me?

-Check me if I’m wrong, but frost on the inside of your bedroom window is not a good thing, right?

I think that’s all for me. It wasn’t that exciting of a weekend, honest.

Arthur Carlson, child molestor

Here’s why I hate Bill Simmons, but can never stop reading him.

As I’ve stated before, I think Simmons (of ESPN.com’s “Sports Guy” fame, if you’re still completely lost) can be one damn funny dude. He can also be annoying, frattish and his references to New England’s various athletic teams has made me want to write “Screw Boston” in the snow every time I have to pee this winter.

Then he comes out with this gem.

I thought another article about the Ron Artest v. the people of Detroit fight, especially one written for ESPN the Magazine as opposed to just for the heathens that read his website, would be thick in “this is what’s wrong with society” and “I’m not taking my kids to an NBA game ever” and “you would never see an upstanding member of society like Boston Celtic Ricky Davis pull something like this”.

I was completely wrong.

The first paragraph is good enough by itself. I remember that I was working in the produce department at Kroger when the OJ chase went down, was in an apartment in Bowling Green when Lady Di died (living in Columbus at the time), and I don’t remember much about the second Tyson-Holyfield fight. And I certainly don’t remember what I was doing when it was on, but if you can’t give a man props for not only a Diff’rent Strokes reference, much less the one where Gordon Jump tries to take naughty pictures of Arnold and Dudley (I wonder what Dudley ever did with his career?), then you better stop trying to give a man his props. That was classic.

In fact, between that and the kinda bad band we caught 15 minutes of last night after work (the lead singer/guitarist was bizarre and twitchy, like an epileptic being hit with a taser), I’ve decided that if I ever start a band, it will include the name “Gordon Jump”, and all concert posters will have headshots of Arnold and Dudley.

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Want to know how easy kids have it now?

I remember the days of my childhood when the fun of opening a new box of cereal was shifting the contents either visually, or by rummaging through the cereal with your hand, and distorting the box to anything BUT box-shaped until you could find the toy inside. This morning, I opened a new box of Corn Pops (Yes, I’m 30 and eating Corn Pops. Deal with it.), which featured a Spongebob Squarepants watch inside. I open the box, and there it is. On the top, outside the bag of cereal, not even stuck to anything with that fun glue-type stuff that looks like a booger if you roll it up in your fingers. Just right there for the taking.

And they wonder what’s wrong with kids in society today. Heh.

So much to do…

…such an inviting couch to keep me from doing it.

-finish with the 3 or 4 or 5 boxes that still sit full, mocking me into unpacking them, but looking so comfortable where they are, I think I’ll leave it be. besides, I’ve only lived here 23 days, I think I’m still in my window of unpackingness, right? of course, about another week, and I’m going to have to make room in one of the closets.

-update this page, add information, work with the look, just funk it up in general. I mean, if I’m going to be this damn funny, I should probably have a site that shares that idea, right? unfortunately, it looks like my remedial web design skills are going to keep this one pretty simple. I think I should be able to get it good enough to be satisfied for awhile though, which is nice. at some point, i’m looking at utilizing a little Blogrolling, but for now I’m just gonna point out this chick’s site. the look rocks (especially her Homer skin), she seems funny as hell (witness #92 on her list of 100, the velveeta thing), and, well, the pics speak for themselves. I think I’ve found my first blog idol.

-my recommendation for today is the Google toolbar. the pop-up blocker alone rocks. no need to install any other shady software. and if I can trust Google to come up with a headshot of Billy Dee Williams, I can certainly trust it to kill pop-ups. And of course, “it works every time”.

-I need to give the obligatory props to the BGSU football team, beating Purdue 27-26 this weekend. How huge is that? I’ll tell ya how huge. Not nearly as huge as if/when the Falcons do the same thing in Columbus in 11 1/2 days.

(INTERMISSION…snacks in the lobby)

pictures?

okay, i’ve got some work to do figuring out how to post pictures here, as evidenced by my AIM and email logos over there ->

but I’ve got more puzzle pictures to share. not much progress, but I realized that my edge piece-finding skills are about 5 pieces short of a set. Oh well, time to start digging. the rest looks good. At least as far as partial borders go.

(thanks to a jacked up conflict between Geocities and Blogger, these pictures won’t come up. Don’t worry, I haven’t touched the puzzle in a week.)
bottom edge! (8/18/03 4:58PM)
edges! in theory, at least (8/19/03 4:06PM)

I even started picking out the yellow pieces (next easiest part, I’m guessing… that purple is gonna be a bitch!).

More tomorrow.