That’s my new nickname for the Browns offense. As in Reggie Miller. As in “nothing but threes”. All the promise, hope, optimism, excitement, eagerness for another Sunday and whatnot I felt last weekend as the Browns finished off the Ravens with a flurry of offensive punches that would leave Muhammed Ali shaking in his shoes, is gone. If you can’t score a touchdown in the NFL, you have no business showing up. Sick thing is, they almost pulled it out anyway.
No matter what the Browns do for the rest of eternity, they need to sign Phil Dawson to a lifetime contract. I don’t care if he’s 124 years old, I don’t think anyone handles the onside kick better. First it was the “reverse field” onside kick. Then, a couple weeks later, it was the “I’ll do it myself up the middle” kick. There have been a few more solid, but not as memorable kicks in between, and today he breaks out the “drop kick onsides kick”. Unfortunately this means the Browns try way too many onside kicks, which means they’re behind in way too many games, but at least they’re close games. And as crappy as they played today, close is a good thing.

Here are some other notes I took while the game was going on:

-Courtney Brown out, is it too late to draft Shaun Alexander?
-Remember last week when Jeff Garcia “silenced his critics” by hitting on the deep ball? The critics can start talking again.
-Nice run by James Jackson, as his “how much money can I make as a free agent while you get nothing while you wonder why you didn’t deal me to Miami before the season” victory tour continues.
-Testaverde is putting enough air under his passes to fill the Metrodome, yet no defenders can get position. There’s no halo rule, guys, and the WR isn’t allowed to call for a fair catch.
-Defense looks pretty good, though just as I figured the offense would click (like they did last week, late in the third), Dallas takes an INT and drives for six.
-If I would have put notes with my predictions, I would have mentioned one name in my Browns pick… Anthony Henry (except that I picked Dallas, of course). Great pick, nice return… and a field goal. Our fourth freakin’ field goal.
-Note to self.. pick up this Jason Witten kid for the fantasy team.

It didn’t get any better after the game, finding out that Winslow likely has a broken leg, Courtney Brown is going back to being the injured Courtney Brown of, oh, the last 4 years, Gerard “Pocket Change” Warren is hurt too, and the offensive line has already taken a hit as well with a mystery injury to Ryan Tucker. I know that in a sport as violent as football, injuries will happen, but with all the pulls, tears, strains and such that have knocked players out consistently over the 5 years since the Browns have been back, maybe its time to get a new training staff?

One would think the scheduling gods are going to smile on the Browns next week, with a trip to that landfill in New Jersey to play the Giants. Not so much. Somehow the Giants won this week, and it will end up being a battle of 1-1 teams.

First team to 6 is the winner.